What If?

Sky's been cracking us up with her curiosity lately. If there's anything that she wants to know something more about, she will surely ask. And then ask about the answer I gave her. And then ask again what I mean about the second explanation. She's just full of questions! It really quite hysterical. We were at the grocery store, and I asked Sky to stay close to mama. This is typically how our conversations have been lately:


Sky: Mommy, what if I run off into another aisle where you can't see me?
Me: That would be dangerous.
Sky: But, why is it dangerous? 
Me: Because if you run into another aisle where I can't see you, you could fall down and get hurt and I won't be able to see you.
Sky: What could I fall down on? 
Me: I don't know, girlie, something sharp, or maybe you could trip on something. Just stay with mama, okay?

(Pause. She's thinking about it all.)

Sky: Why ELSE could it be dangerous [to run off]? What if I did that right now?

At this point, we're in the last aisle. My cart is full. My feet and my back and my patience are all hurting and I just want to go home. But I bent down to her level, and gave her a hug to first calm my nerves. It works; her sweet, curious eyes make me smile. She's not TRYING to get on my nerves, she's just 3 and very curious.

Me: Sky, it's dangerous to run off where you cannot see mama because someone could take you and run off with you. And mommy would miss you so much. But, mommy doesn't want you to ask me anymore questions about that, because it's not helpful to talk about it anymore. So I just want you to trust mama, and stay close. Because I love you.

And then, after all her questions have been answered, she will, without fail, end the series of questions with:


"Can you tell me a story about that?!"

~

Sky's curiosity is completely natural. She just wants to know about everything, and will ask and ask until she feels like she understands fully. I really don't think she was testing my authority in this particular incident in the grocery store. She was just being 3.

But it did get me thinking about how often I ask God, "What If?". Often times, my questioning the Lord is driven by fear of the unknown in what our future may hold. My "What If's" often look like this:

What if that spot on the baby's heart does turn out to be something serious? What if I can't handle being a mother of 2? What if Jonathan gets in a car accident on the way to work because he didn't get enough sleep the night before? What if my brother can never get his feet off the ground? What would that do to me?! What if Sky chooses to not follow the Lord when she grows up? 

And then (what most would call coincidence, but what I contribute to God's sovereignty,) I was sifting through articles on the Mahaney Girls' blog, "girltalk" and ran into this article: No Grace for "What If?"

I felt like God graciously bent down to my level to comfort me and remind me of His truths.It spoke to my soul. It's nothing new that I've never heard before: God's grace is not there for my imagination to run off. Carolyn Mahaney puts it well:

"God does not sprinkle grace over every path my fear takes. He does not rush in with support and encouragement for every doomsday scenario I can imagine.

No, instead He warns me to stay off those paths: “Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil” (Ps. 37:8).       

There is no grace for our imagination. That’s why our fearful imaginings produce bad fruit: anxiety, lack of joy, futile attempts to control."

What truth. I can take one simple day at a time, knowing that God's grace is sufficient for me to get through THIS day. And, if or when a fiery trial may come, I know that my Heavenly Father will give me just the amount of grace I need to walk through it. With peace, and a steadfast trust in Him. No more "What If's".